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"What are your weaknesses? I consider myself a strong person; however, if I had to admit my weaknesses - a strong jawline coupled with five o'clock shadow and Jameson."

"Sure, Craigslist's ads don't boast the most comforting of histories. People have died, many, if not most, of them women. People have been injured. People have been subjected to situations beyond their comfort zone. But fear not, my friend and I are hopeful. Hopeful that should we die, we do so partying. Should we be injured, we do so catching a bouquet. Should we be out of our comfort zone...wait, you said free booze, right? Yeah, we won't be out of our comfort zone."

"Great things spawn from sexts with an ex...as long as you're on the receiving end...I understand the appeal of sending a stranger that special someone a sensual picture of you to excite them...when they're on their way to see you...But, if you're just exchanging pics for the sake of exchanging pics, I'm sorry, but I'd rather buzz one out to a Google image search of Joe Manganiello than your amateur self-portrait."

Living in Sin
"Daddy issues having dissipated (or so I have convinced myself), I made the "yay-this-will-be-so-fun!" decision to move in with the boyfriend. If my mother doesn't hate me enough for it, Jesus surely does. But not to worry, I have weighed eternal damnation against splitting rent costs and a doubled DVD collection and chose wisely."

Sexy Plexi
"I like to mix booze with any situation no matter the emotional severity. I understand this behavior is not encouraged, but you enjoy your yoga and quiet reflection while I chase these Jameson shots with equally regrettable hook ups...he concealed his real thought-processor behind the fly of his Vineyard Vines khakis just like every other man on the island."

Getting Naked is Dangerous
"Removing my jewelry, dropping my purse, and losing my dress as quickly as I lose my dignity at bars, I skipped into the ocean allowing the salty waves to try their hand at sobering me up...[Soon] we were forced to reclaim responsibility and make our way back to shore...Our shoes were all that remained of our belongings..."

Birthday Sex
"Close friends, good friends, and friends that Facebook suggested were acknowledging "me day," commonly misspelled "bday." All of the love gave me lady wood for the better part of 24 hours. I was more than content when, at the end of "me day," more persons than not who had at one time or another seen me without clothes on (mistakenly or otherwise) wished me a happy day."