Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Don't Call it a Comeback

I debated with myself for quite a while if I should bring this blog back to life. Am I the same person? Do I still find myself in ludicrous situations at 2am? Do people even use Blogger anymore? The debates went as such:

Am I the same person?
Of course I'm not the same person - I'm 30 now (*cringe*). The girl that started this blog years ago never could have imagined she would make it to 30; yet she did (with the help of alcohol professional therapy). OK, but that's exactly how the concept of time works - you get older, age has nothing to do with being the same person. Of course, I'm the same person - I still live in Manhattan, and that will never change,* I still work a desk job despite tempting myself with the possibilities of pursuing my passions and making it work with odd jobs, and I still continue to make a fool of myself while intoxicated, though my now 30-year-old body generates more physically damaging repercussions than previously experienced. But now I don't sleep with date all the wrong guys - I'm actually getting married in six months. 20-something-year-old me would never believe I'd convince someone to do that (if the last post wasn't evidence enough). And, remember my high school superlative - most changed? I'm predisposed to become a new person every 3-4 years. So I agreed to disagree with myself - I am the same person and I'm not. At least I still revel in satirically judging others, and more so, I continue to enjoy musing at my perpetual mistakes.   

Do I still find myself in ludicrous situations at 2am?
Why did I make 2am a qualifier? What a terrible excuse. These days, I'm at my highest intoxication by 2pm. At the age of 30, bottomless brunching becomes even more important in order to create an adequate hangover preparation period. So, sure - I might not be out until all hours of the night looking for trouble anymore, but, per the aforementioned paragraph, I'm the same disaster of a personality, and that attribute maintains I bring the trouble with me regardless of the sun's position in the sky. 

Do people even use Blogger anymore?
I don't know that they ever did. However, I'm too lazy to figure out a different way to do this, and I don't have enough creativity apps on my phone to do the whole funny-text-above-a-stock-photo thing on Instagram.

None of these debates really mattered in the end. My company switched insurances and my therapist is no longer covered. I'd rather spend the money on Seamless and booze donations to dozens of charities, so I'm going to need an outlet in the interim. I figure I can just send my therapist links to the blog periodically, and maybe he'll decide some pro bono work is necessary. 

*Dear 40-year-old me, if you come back to this blog after years of absence and laugh at how 30-year-old me thought she would never leave the City, she will haunt you. She hates you. Why did you make her leave? Did your husband convince you? I bet it was the kids and "needing more space" or "we need to start thinking about their schooling." Coward. 20-something-year-old you is even more appalled - you're married...with kids?! We don't even know you anymore. 

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