Friday, July 27, 2012

Sexual Conquests 1-16

(See The List for introduction and explanation) (Click to zoom)

Taking virginity on Christmas. Naked at Easter. He has some fascinating ways of celebrating Jesus. At least he doesn't discriminate for religion, age, or weight - a true patriot.

I find it rather intriguing that he calls Three a "slut." Sure, he disregards women as mere conquests, but we needn't worry because, well, the aforementioned are sluts unworthy of anyone's respect. At least they're "spirited" sluts as Two is described, despite her abundance of pubic hair. Quite a motley crew what with spirited sluts and registered sex offenders (Fifteen). This list is starting off with a bang (or 16).

Most Some people might find his chronicles rather offensive, but not I. He's aggressively bold and I appreciate that. I wish I could compile a list like this, but I am, of course, saving myself for marriage. That, or I lack the detailed memories, which is probably for the best (thank you, vodka).

I cannot blame these women for falling victim.  On the few occasions I came in contact with him, I too was charmed.  His cool confidence emanates off him in a seductive scent (think Pepe Le Pew's scented trail but substitute putrid for erotic).  Initially these women have no idea what they're getting themselves into. They're at home, pregaming with their girls, asking dumb questions like "does this make me look fat?" (of course it does - but really, it doesn't matter because someone, somewhere will fuck it), and they have no idea what awaits them out in the world.

Well, ladies, Casanova awaits. Enjoy.

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